April 2026
l avoid the Netherlands. l was only there once before (arriving by boat because of this.) l spent more time there beginning 6 months ago. Each time l mostly stay in squats. l assert that NL does not shut down squats and quash leftist organizing (like Germany or France for example) because NATO countries observe in NL how such movements would develop and use the scene and cultural milieu for testing psyops and liberal counterinsurgency methods.
In squats where there are non-EU immigrant and racialized residents; the dialogue is much different.
There was a third instance in a squat in Spanish Basque that l will also discuss in context with the second instance in NL.
The context of each instance that l encountered in NL are quite different respectively. The first was from someone who was antagonistic toward me, the second was from someone who was friendly to me.
Before l describe the events, l need to state that l know for sure that people in this scene always experience racialized people in the context of the racialized people needing something from them. This is the structure of colonialism. This is why l am so confusing: l am racialized, but l don't need anything from them. Sure, l require a space to be at, but if it's not theirs, l can get it somewhere else, with or without permission, and completely on my terms, even at 2am. l'm American, and differently racialized than the so-called migrant populations; it means l get away with anything i.e. l'm more privileged than the local people. There's a strong push to diminish that American soft power, but that does not go away easily. l also do not need it; most people don't stereotype me as American when they look at me. No, l don't want to move to Europe/ the NL, l don't even like visiting. It is not lost on me that it benefits the people in this scene to fuck around with me, because they find out about themselves; but they avoid me, so l wouldn'get end up getting overburdened. l always win.
And now, the story:
l spent several nights in a squatted field in a more conservative town in March 2026. l was in town for an event where l disseminated information about counterinsurgency-- l'm doing that a lot right now. l came to this facility through a contact who does not live there, and they introduced me to someone who does. l could have left town directly after the event, but l followed my gut/ accepted invitations to events, and stayed a while.
l arrived in the evening. No one came when l yelled into a gate, so l went to a nearby related field, where l was greeted by someone who was visiting from southern Europe. This person was very friendly, and suggested that l stay in that field instead if the other place was not suitable. l always have my own hammock, which has a small footprint, and l can set it up and tear it down within a few minutes. In other words, l can crash pretty much anywhere; l stayed at the facility because l wanted to check it out. The person used their phone to contact the people at the other field, walked me over there, and we had a conversation about --what else-- counterinsurgency.
At the other field, people were hanging out in their kitchen. Folks greeted me as we entered. There was less than 10 people and l thought l had said hi to all of them. l saw the resident who was introduced to me by my contact. They then announced to the room that l was staying for 1 night.
l noted this as atypical, because in other squats, people usually ask how many days l am staying and communicate that l can hang out longer.
After a couple of beers, my resident contact showed me to the place where l would sleep, which was in a tree. The usual occupant was away.
The next morning, l saw a couple of people cleaning the kitchen when l got up. l said hi to them, and they concentrated on their tasks and did not want to engage in conversation. l was going to have a discussion about staying longer, or at least to get them to let me out. Seeing that they were busy, l just asked how l can leave. One of the folks told me the code of the bike lock of the gate and l left for the day.
Now you might be asking why l don't just get on Signal to talk to the person responsible for me, and you might suggest that l contact my initial contact and have them talk to the resident contact or whoever else.
l don't usually have a phone, therefore l do not use Signal, but that's beside the point.
l am there in person and can talk to the people there directly. If l don't see them at night, people are around and awake when l get up. If they want to know what's going on with me, they can engage me when they see me. However, if people do not feel like taking on the stress of a logistical conversation, l would not make them.
The people cleaning in the morning were visibly not in a state to make conversation for example.
Whether they talk to me or not, my needs do not disappear.
They have space to spare. l can crash in my own equipment if there are no furnished quarters available. l don't have to consume their water or food. etc. And* l can go to the squat in this town that l crashed at before l went over to the field. l actually don't need to explain the circumstances here like this, because it's really not a big deal to have an extra person around for a few days. l already know that.
In the couple of days that followed, l checked out other happenings in the this town, meet more people, go off to Amsterdam, etc. l return at 1 or 2 in the morning and people are asleep. l go to the kitchen to hang out for a bit before l crash each time, so if people were up and want to talk l made myself available. It is not exactly a cosy place to hang out either, there are mice/ rats that scratch at the walls. When l get up and come out of the quarters, which is no earlier than 11 am, l usually see people around. The second morning, one of the residents greeted me and said have a nice day. The third morning, someone was in the outhouse when l tried to go pee and let me know they were in there. So people were around and they see me, but they were not engaging me in conversation. l found it inconvenient but l understood that it is probably stressful for them... or something.
The following night l returned at around 2am. Evening events end around midnight or later, and l have to walk like 45 minutes from the central station if l miss the last train.
When l arrived l went to the kitchen to boil water. This time, a small black dog that l didn't meet came in, followed by an AMAB male presenting person, hencefore "cis dude" (and not "cis yt dude" because l already told you that everyone here yt passed except me,) whom l also did not meet. l was like: oh nice, people want to speak.
This cis dude seemed pretty agitated and told me that he did not expect to see me in "our kitchen", and that l was a problem. He accused me of avoiding people in order to keep coming without permission. He also said that the place where l was sleeping is occupied by someone and it would be horrible if they come home and find someone in their bed. Actually, l see a lot of "destroy all borders" type stickers in the room so l am sure they wouldn't get their panties in a bunch like this cis dude; and with my hours, l would find them in their bed crashed out and would not be occupying it when they want to crash. l told cis dude that l did not remember meeting him. He said he was at bar night. l took that to mean the night when l arrived. l have no frame of reference as to how many people hang out at what time on which day of the week/ month. l also noticed that l was expected to know what 'bar night' is. At any rate, this cis dude did not introduce himself to me before, l didn't even remember seeing him.
Recognizing the anti-immigrant rhetoric and the accusation in a mirror (the residents avoided me while this cis dude accused me of "avoiding people"), l left immediately. l did so knowing that the cis dude will characterize it to other people as him scaring me off. No, he "evicted" me by being repulsive and making the environment unsafe for me at 2 in the morning. To that, the counter argument would be that l am the intruder. Why would that be a valid argument? l didn't have permission because people did not engage me in conversation only, if they did, l would have asked for permission, which was a formality anyway. The accusation in the mirror (the false claim/ premise that l avoided people) is the basis of that argument. Did everyone at the field think l breached some boundary? l highly doubt it; but when someone establish an Us and a Them, and "we're all in this together", and that they're acting on behalf of you... you get the idea: you also have blood on your hands, i.e. cognitive dissonance.
All these lefty political people read about this stuff all the time and they know that this is happening in their scene. They cannot acknowledge that people they are in community with act like this if their lives depended on it, much less confront it.
Their lives do depend on this. And it's not just done in racialized scenarios, yt people do this to each other.
l really want to stop rolling my eyes, because l have to look at the screen to finish writing this, but it's not easy.
People get into protracted logical discussions arguing against absurd positions that prod at their cognitive dissonance. It's trolling. It's toxic. Reject it. Shut it down. Entertaining it is entertaining anti-immigrant rhetoric.
About a month after this, my initial contact wrote me about this. They were very polite and very stressed; l can gather that people were fighting. Precipitating the fight is the goal.
Invariably, people have to frame it as no one present is at fault, therefore, whoever is absent and being talked about can be scapegoated.
l went to NL to talk about Counterinsurgency. If the scene starts working out how it's being used, it messes up the usefulness of that scene as a controlled experiment and comfort trap. And yes, the authorities will extinguish the scene. People must know this.
Going Nazi means everyone dies. Dying last is not a win.
It's not a loss to end this stagnant scene, it just means people have to evolve. There's already voices within the movement that talk about doing this. l went to a very wholesome talk about "accelerating your queerness" for example. Stop feeding the same old trolling and consider fresh perspectives from people who don't play power games.
It's do or die, folks.
This next part might make these lefties more at ease about their buddies not being spooks. Or they are, ldk. They're not at ease anyway. The point is that friendly squatters also regurgitate this anti-immigrant rhetoric.
l scheduled a workshop in Rotterdam about counterinsurgency the week after the field thing. l asked a local squat if l can crash there ahead of time back in February, and they said of course.
When l showed up, the person who was my contact gave me a tour, got me set up, and gave me a key. They were going away for an extended period of time the next day, and someone else who introduced themself to me was going to be my contact from that point on. On that day, an artist began painting a mural on one of the exterior walls of the squat in support of Rojava.
l didn't see people from the squat go talk to the muralist. l came out to see the progress of the mural once, and the artist was welcoming and all smiles, but l don't speak Arabic or Dutch.
This squat is a big building with many rooms. l was in a large, empty room by myself that looks like it is the dorm for visitors. They had a tool shop where they cut keys, and l understood that some of the people in the squat are part of a collective that open squats for immigrants.
l fliered for my event during the week. Aside from that, l was attending other events like group readings and so forth, where l also told people about my event.
l expected the event to have low turn out, and it did. Interestingly, the folks who showed up were all from South America. They told me they were not surprised that people did not want to come. One of the people said that because they are migrants, they cannot be at the frontlines of squatting. l didn't understand, and they said it depends on what kind of papers one has.
When l met one of the people in the squat opening collective in a common area of where l was crashing, they asked me what l was doing after my event, that they open squats and squat with the people they open the squats for. Upon hearing that l am from the US, this person said that in the NL they do not experience counterinsurgency, proven by the fact that we were standing in a squat without the fear of being evicted. l gave them a flier for my event; they did not come. After this, l noticed the same person not engaging me and avoiding eye contact with me when l would see them in the common areas.
After my event, where l got the information about squatting being related to papers, l made the connection that the person at the squat did not get that l was not an EU citizen initially. The fact of me crashing at their squat as a guest probably also made them think that l can go open squats with them because l was not in the immigrant class. After that, they were either embarassed and/ or there was inner circle conversations that invoked culture of security and induced cognitive dissonance.
l feel sorry for people for real, but not as sorry as l feel for myself for having to deal with them.
After my event, l stayed at the squat for another 2 weeks, going to more events around Randstad, meeting people, and working on this site in the electronics lab of this squat.
No one at the squat actively engaged me to talk, they just say hi, except for one queer presenting person who came into the electronics lab one night and showed me the malware on their phone. We had a nice chat about why l was in Europe, counterinsurgency, and Neocities. l considered them approaching me as microinclusion.
The night before l left, l stayed up writing stuff on this site in the electronic lab so that l don't have to wake up early for the train to the south of France. The same person came to the lab, and we had another chat. This was when the anti-immigrant rhetoric came out.
l was going to the south of France the next day, then on to Catalonia for another event. Upon hearing this, the person said they want to know about places in Spain and possibly visit for themself. On that topic, l described visiting the biggest squatted area in the Iberian Peninsula in Spanish Basque Country, Errekaelor Bizkirik in Victoria/ Gasteiz.
Instance 0: |
l did not point out the preposterousness of the argument on the spot to them. l was literally crashing in a huge room by myself that can comfortably fit 5-6 people with ample space for everyone if they divided up the room. The building is often silent and mostly empty. Encampments are usually much more cramped and no one complains about capacity.
We talked about other stuff until about 5am, then they retired to their space for a bit while l continued to write. They came back when l was ready to leave around 7. So this is really a friendly person to me.